Up and Downs
I wake up and all I want to do sometimes is lay and be still. Send the girls back to bed, hide under my covers and lay there. Why do I feel this way? I have a beautiful life. I have a roof over my head, food to eat, clothes on my back, and my health. I have a husband that loves and adores me for me. I have two beautiful girls that love me unconditionally no matter how imperfect of a mother I may be. I am blessed, but still I am stressed. I am stressed about bills, stressed about my weight, stressed about my career or lack there of, and other things that I simply cannot control. So I lay there in bed over weighed by the stress that is simply life. The good. The bad, and the ugly. Life. So I lay until I cannot lay anymore because well I have responsibilities. Mom responsibilities. Wife responsibilities. Work responsibilities. Life responsibilities. Isn’t this the truth for most people? We get out of bed each day for our responsibilities, but how do we stay afloat? How do we stay afloat all the BS, the stress, the hot mess, the negative thoughts that we mentally subject ourselves to each day? We stay afloat by recognizing the good. By cherishing it. By nourishing it. By focusing on it. The good. In the days when I am feeling stressed or down the reasons why I get up are my responsibilities. But then I choose to stay up, because well I see, I hear, I taste, and I feel, the good. I see the roof over my head. I hear the playful cheers of my beautiful girls, I taste the good food that I am able to put on the table each day and I feel the soft kisses and tight squeezes from my husband when he walks through the door. I start the day with stress and end the day recognizing that I am so so blessed. Feeling the stress doesn’t mean I am ungrateful, broken, or depressed. It means that am human. Imperfect in every way, going through ups and downs everyday, human. They call it ups and downs because life is one crazy roller coaster ride. A ride of laughter, thrills, fear, spills, mess ups, and cleanups, the list goes on. Life is hard. Life is beautiful. Life is all around bittersweet. When I go through my day and see my kids laugh and play, I feel the stress slowly start to slip away A smile begins to form across my face as I realized I am too blessed to be stressed. Life can be therapeutic if we let it. So let it.
