Food Addicts Anonymous
Hello, my name is Dadiana and I'm addicted to food...
Last night I had wings. Wings for crying out loud! In that moment of mouth watering bliss it felt oh so right, but now it feels so wrong. If there were ever such a walk of shame for eating unhealthy foods, I am walking down it not loud and not proud. I should probably cut myself some slack, right? Um I think not. Only because cutting myself some slack over and over again, day after day is what got me here in the first place. Yes I am serious this time about weight loss, but I am scared as hell that old habits will arise and I will fall into a binge eating food coma.
After being sick with the flu (and taking care of two sick kids with flu) for a whole week, I completely fell off the wagon. I started partaking in take out (the bad kind) and indulging in some oh so yummy Talenti Gelato. Coconut Almond, and Vanilla Blue Berry Crunch to be exact. When this week started I promised I would get it together and get back into my routine of baked chicken and veggies with little to no carbs, and I did. Kinda? I keep telling myself things like "I can't eat bread or sugar ever" or "I'll just eat whatever I want on my cheat days." Here lies the problem with those two options. One deprives me and makes me miserable and the other makes me go calorie crazy from being deprived and probably leads to weight gain. So where's the happy medium? Eating healthy and indulging in small proportions, while working out at least 3 times a week. I found that counting my calories allows me to indulge without over eating. Some may find it obsessive, but I call it accountability. It makes me feel in control over my food intake, rather then feeling enslaved to it. It gives me hope that this can be possible with consistency and discipline. Even for little oh me.
Don't get me wrong. Trying to get back into the swing of things has been harder than expected, but I can't forget my goal. When I think about my goal to shed a whole 60 lbs this year, an obnoxious voice yells inside " you're insane, you will never do this!" Then I remember childbirth. Hell if I can do that, I can do this right? How is one situation relevant to the other? Because both require strength (inner and outer) and sheer power of will. Yes I want to lose weight, but I do not want to feel unhappy while doing it.
I'm embracing my journey and cutting myself some slack because I'm going to have moments of weakness. But I realized, what will define the end of this journey are not those moments of weakness, but how I grow in strength because of them.
I believe there's like this huge powerful switch we can turn on and off when we want to get serious about something. Break time is over.
This is me flipping the switch back on .
What time is it?
What time is it?
It's game time!
And I intend to win.
Stay Beautiful,
Dadi
