Confessions of a Stay at Home Mom
"Motherhood is emotional. It’s labeling yourself as a mom and sometimes forgetting who you really are, who you were before these beautiful babies arrived. Sometimes it can make you feel like your only job is to change diapers and do laundry all day. And as much love as we have for our children, sometimes motherhood leaves us with an aching for things greater than what lies outside the walls of our home."
-Cassie Hilt of the the Huffington Post.
https://m.huffpost.com/us/entry/9734120
Before I became a mother I thought I had my shit together, but when I became a mother I forgot every part of who I thought I was. I tried to remember and do things for myself here and there, but I was never consistent with it. I used to think that Motherhood was putting your children before yourself and everyone else. Forgetting about yourself and letting go. Letting go of beauty, fitness, and I was and still am (less so) obsessed with my kids. That mentality worked for me for a while, but eventually drained me the hell out emotionally, physically, and mentally. Not only that, but because I had put my needs last, I started to feel more irritated and less patient. I started to yell more, and play less with my girls. I knew what I was doing and how I was acting and it was killing me inside, but I couldn't stop because I didn't understand why. I finally realized how bad it had gotten when I checked out one day. I had just come back from shooting a beautiful wedding in the peaceful Carolina's and came back home to what felt like chaos. The house was a mess, and the kids were jumping and yelling and I was immediately overwhelmed. I got so sad and kinda depressed because I guess I missed the quiet, the ability to come and go as I felt, the chance to take my time getting ready, and the opportunity to sleep in if I wanted to. I missed having time alone for myself or time interacting with actual adults. So I had shut down and didn't even realize it. I wasn't playing, I wasn't laughing, it was like I wasn't even there. It's the ugly truth and I feel horrible and guilty for ever feeling that way, but I realize that they were valid feelings . I realized that it was okay to take care of me first, It was okay to say I need a break, and it was okay to take one. Who the hell said that we have to do this by ourselves. We have to utilize our resources and cash in on those baby sitting offers. Motherhood as beautiful, and life changing, it can also be so hard if we allow it to be. If we don't take care of ourselves how do we expect to care for our little humans versions of ourselves . We deserve to relax too. It's way easier said then done and I'm still a work in progress, but here are some simple steps to help relax, rejuvenate, and enjoy motherhood.
1.Recognize that you need a break. Sounds simple enough, but it is so hard for us woman because we are natural caregivers, and we think that no one can do it better than we can.
2. Use your Resources and Plan! Asking for help to watch the kids from a partner, family member, or a trusting friend. If you have the extra dollars to put your little's in a program a couple hours a day, go for it! No matter how little or big, plan something special. Whether it be an at home Spa day, a cup of coffee with some girlfriends, or a a full on night on the town, prepare and plan ahead of time.
3. Taking an actual break at least a once week . Whether it's an hour or a whole day. Trust me it will make a difference. Use that time to discover things about yourself, treat yourself, or hang with your girlfriends, or if you can score a babysitter other than your spouse, have a night out on the town with your boo, okay!
4. Rinse and Repeat!
Stay Beautiful,
Dadi
